More than a year of my firstborn son's early life, witnessed through a phone while we were apart.
This is a personal account of where the song began. It does not define what the song must mean.
A beginning across borders
My wife and I learned that she was pregnant while we were together. After I returned to my home country, my wife remained abroad. The COVID-19 pandemic kept us apart much longer than we had imagined.
When our child was born, I was not there. I waited for news and received a newborn photograph from my wife’s family. A name label was attached to the baby’s forehead. I remember that small detail clearly.
Watching the firsts
For many months, I watched my child learn to hold up their head, roll over, sit, and stand through photographs and videos. I could see the changes, but I could not take part in the ordinary physical moments around them.
When I was finally able to hold my child, there was unfamiliarity between us. My child had grown in ways I had watched closely but had not lived beside.
Why the lyrics leave room
The song does not need the names of the countries, the travel restrictions, or the exact number of months to carry the feeling. The distance is real, but its causes do not have to define every listener’s experience.
I also do not want to suggest that seeing a moment on a screen is the same as being present for it.
What the song adds to the album
I have photographs and videos of those early days, and I am grateful they exist. But preserving a moment is not the same as being able to return to it.
The screen let me watch my child grow. It could not give us that time together.
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